Something sinister lurks in the slimy, primordial UQ lakes.
Strange bubbling, churning water and unexplained disappearances of students have caused alarm ever since the lakes were created. We investigate what ominous presence could be behind these events and why the university administration insists on covering it up.
The UQ lakes were originally formed by damming Carmody creek, which drained the area that the university was built on and flowed into the Brisbane River. Before the construction of the university the area was a place on the outskirts of town where local inhabitants, both Indigenous and settler, were afraid to go. The reason for their trepidation was the well-known presence of a Bunyip or family of Bunyips infesting the waterways, including Carmody creek.
Bunyips have been variously described as having a solidly built body like a hippopotamus and the head of a giant snake, or a serpentine body with the face of a bearded man. Their characteristic behaviour is that they lurk in fresh or brackish water and prey on unsuspecting people and animals who stray too close to the waters edge.
There is disagreement about the nature of the Bunyips. They could be an undescribed species of aquatic animal, or they may possess supernatural abilities – the fact that descriptions vary could be an indication of shapeshifting.
When the first lord-mayor of Brisbane, William Jolly, agreed that the area now known as St. Lucia would make a good location for a university campus, he knew that these beasts would be a problem and in typical colonial problem-solving style, he ordered their eradication.
The files are still sealed on how many people perished, dragged to the murky depths in trying to commit ecological crimes against these mysterious creatures, but one thing is for certain: they were unsuccessful in their endeavours.
The UQ lakes are still home to unknown numbers of Bunyips who wait patiently for their chance to gobble up unwitting first year students who mistakenly think the lakes’ shores are a pleasant place to study or eat lunch.
Given that the university administration is undoubtedly aware of the foul presence haunting the lakes we have to wonder why they refuse to address the situation or even acknowledge it.
As far as we are concerned the answer is simple and is essentially the same answer as to why UQ does most of the insane stuff it does: marketing.
The UQ lakes are an integral part of UQ’s “sustainability project”. Water from the lakes is used to irrigate lawns and sporting fields and this allows the marketing team to boast of sustainable water usage. Do not be deceived.
The administration does not care about sustainability out of environmental conscientiousness. If they did, they would sever their connections with environmentally devastating mining and weapons manufacturing sectors.
What they really care about is the ability to use their claims of sustainability as a marketing hook for prospective students who care about the future of our planet.
It is this same self-serving agenda that drives the covering up of the dangerous bunyip presence in the lakes.
So, the next time you see the sprinklers on in the Great Court, ask yourself how many more students are the administration willing to sacrifice to keep the grass green and the investors happy?