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By Moran
A new year has dawned and with it on the breeze have come a new batch of first-years, fresh to the halls of this glorious institution and unknowing of its associated traditions. In order to assist these young’uns on their journey, I have noted down some key advice to clear the path for them. Click the image to find out more!
#1
#1
Don’t attempt to consume the prepackaged sandwiches in Main Course after Tuesdays. They grow lonely and stale in their plastic prisons as the week passes by, and the result is generally an unpleasant use of five dollars.
#2
#2
You needn’t join societies on Market Day. They may lure you in with complimentary candy, only to place all of their events right in the middle of your most essential tutorial. Consider waiting until they release their event timetable so as not to be disappointed.
#3
#3
Sign up for Mates Rates quick snap so that you can use their first-year-only first-week-only promotional deal. This deal, which may land you a free sweet treat, is the most satisfying part of the UQ experience and those who failed to utilise it are often heard lamenting on dark winter nights.
#4
#4
Scout out the location of your classes before the first week. UQ maps is an unpleasant companion of a nervous morning.
#5
#5
Full-time students are permitted to borrow an unlimited number of general-use items from the library. Unlimited.
#6
#6
Be wary of any society which claims you have a moral imperative to attend their meetings, buy their merch or, Nephilim forbid, hand out pamphlets instead of attending class. There is, alas, benefit for some in your being lonely and unsure of yourself.
#7
#7
Know the key UQ lore:
- The “UQ advantage” refers to a past advertising slogan and is generally used to refer to disadvantageous things the university has done. Remove your rose-tinted glasses, young friends, for such things have been known to happen.
- “There are Nephilim living in the tunnels under UQ” refers to the fact that there are Nephilim, mysterious creatures from the Hebrew Bible, residing in tunnels beneath UQ St. Lucia.
- The Hartley Teakle Building is a beautiful vintage structure which rumour & I say the management are hoping will soon burn down.
#8
#8
UQ security may be called on 3365 1234 and, with some luck, they will be able to assist you by accompanying you to your destination, giving you a lift, unlocking a door, unblocking a passage, locating a classroom, providing first aid, and generally doing other such tedious work as is required for the safety of the student body. They also operate safety buses on St. Lucia campus at late hours during the semester. Check their website or the SafeZone app.
#9
#9
If you’re an upstanding citizen, you’ll get a marvellous chance to practice when waiting in line for a free meal at Kampus Kitchen at 5pm each weeknight.
- If your disability means you can’t stand up for that long, a short conversation with one of the volunteers should permit you to skip the line.
- The line for the vegetarian option is generally far, far shorter than for the meat one.
#10
#10
Fancy studying at one of our lovely libraries? Well so does everyone else, so try and get there early to assure yourself a seat. The website listed claims to show how busy each one is – if and how it works I cannot be sure, but the graphs are nice.
#11
#11
Try and get your head around the way our semesters work before you have to get it around whatever you’re actually studying. (UQ calendar link)
- Since time immemorial midsemester break has not been located in the middle of the semester. It is thus cause for great celebration that this semester it will be held after week six. But don’t get too excited, because in semester two we’ve got to wait all the way ‘til week ten!
- SWOTVAC happens between the last week of classes and the first week of exams. It gives those poor souls who have exams on the first day of the block time to study while the rest of us fool around patting baby goats and doing craft activities.
Thus concludes the wordcount and my knowledge. I can only hope that these small snippets of advice help you along on your educational journey. I shall leave you with one final point: try submitting your work to Semper Floreat. They’ll really print anything.
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