UQ announces it will consider degree “in favour of Western Civilization”, just in time for Australia Day

The University of Queensland will be considering the Ramsay Centre’s pro-Western Civilization degree, according to an email to UQ staff from Vice Chancellor Professor Peter Høj this Monday.

The email refers to an earlier discussion between UQ and the Ramsay Centre that took place at the end of last year.

“With 2018 coming to a close, I did not think then was an appropriate time to begin consultation with staff,” Professor Høj explained in his email.1

The email continues as follows:

“Naturally, the more appropriate time to begin this discussion would be directly preceding a holiday that is publicly shamed for being a blight on the history of Western Civilization.

“I for one am delighted that we were able to have such productive discussions with the Ramsay Centre. Many of you know that this comes after repeated failures to find opportunities for profit in transporting students to Aboriginal burial grounds so they can literally dance upon the graves of the First Nations’ People. However, I hope that you can find comfort in this close second as I have.

“I am also proud to announce that, as of today, we will be changing the university’s slogan from ‘Own the Unknown’ to ‘Own the Lefties’. I look forward to working with you all on epicly trolling the snowflake generation.”

A request to Professor Høj’s office for comment this afternoon received a response of “u mad bro?” from the Vice Chancellor himself.

The announcement of a potential Ramsay Centre deal has received negative attention from academics on both sides of the political spectrum.

Left-leaning academics have said the deal goes too far in the way of endorsing conservative politics.

“I just don’t see what’s wrong with staying the course of subtly dog-whistling that UQ is an elitist institution for upper-class white people,” commented Paul Grisham, Arts lecturer.

Conversely, some on the Right have commented that the move doesn’t go far enough, and that the University should consider a plan for a 20-foot statue of Captain James Cook on the Forgan Smith lawns, complete with an inscription of “haters get mad” in Latin. The plan has been repeatedly rejected by the University administration.

“While we understand the desires of some groups to commemorate Captain Cook,” responded Professor Høj, “this University must reject the calls for a statue on the grounds that it will not deliver a financial benefit.”

1 Actual quote from the email. The rest is just the vibe, not verbatim.

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