101 Things you can spend $122m on instead of a postal plebisite

So the Marriage Equality debate is well and truly underway and we have seen some rather unexpected (read: highly expected) turn of events. But here we are about to spend $122 million but I would like to think about some of the other things we could have spent it on. Yes, this is overkill but so is this debate.

 

  1. Enough educational resources to teach millennials how to first enrol to vote, but maybe even enough teach them how to post a letter.
  2. All of UQ’s casual $5 & $7 parking paid for over 59 years.
  3. Funding Semper Floreat with the current budget for over 2,033 years.
  4. Show pride with 11,685,823 rainbow pride flags.
  5. 29 million medium coffees from the UQU outlets.
  6. Like UQ sustainabilities new Tesla Model S fleet? You too could buy 946 instead.
  7. Pay the current average annual base wage (approx $52,000) for over 2346 Brisbane bus drivers.
  8. You could probably even cover everyone catching public transport for awhile.
  9. 48,800,000 Bunnings sausages (maybe, even more, is if you find one of the clubs and societies sausage sizzle)
  10. 64,244 brand new 13” mac pros. Imagine that many first years…
  11. Support Queensland in 1,356,309 new Maroons Jerseys.
  12. Nearly 20% of the Newman Government’s tower of power at 1 William street.
  13. 1863 Weddings at $65,482 each according to a survey by Bride to Be magazine.
  14. Maybe buy all the textbooks I’m not going to use for the classes that require them.
  15. One and two-thirds of a publicly funded Cher Tour.
  16. Be like the Irish with electronic voting as it cost them $78m to implement and still have enough for a democracy sausage.
  17. Fully follow the Australian Federation of AIDS Organisations requirement to end the transmission of HIV for nearly 4 years
  18. One and a third of a Brisbane to Melbourne high-speed rail at the Beyond Zero Emissions forecast cost.
  19. Providing public housing and homelessness services for 3,189 homeless people around Australia.
  20. Embrace real uni living and get 187,692,307 mi goreng noodles.
  21. 2,240 $50,000 university degrees.
  22. Eight million free tubs of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie.
  23. 28,354,430 loaves of Domino’s Garlic Bread. National free garlic bread day?
  24. Or the cheaper version which is 50,666,666 home brand garlic bread.
  25. 74 thousand puppies – SEVENTY. FOUR. THOUSAND. DOGGOS!!
  26. 71,7160 Armani suits.
  27. Over 30,000 week-long trips in luxury resorts in Bail.
  28. Provide the disaster relief Queensland requested after Cyclone Debbie (with some change to spare).
  29. Like so many jet skis, like at least over 12,000.
  30. Book Queens of the Stone Age 488 times.
  31. Invest in enough of local art to revolutionise the art scene in Brisbane  
  32. 10 million fidget spinners – more than enough for one for each baby boomer still alive in Australia (around 6.3 million). Speaking of,
  33. 37 million avocados – finally a chance for Boomers to experience the greatest youth trend for 6 days in a row – just like the Special K challenge right?
  34. OR Two million mature avocado trees!
  35. 1,616 psychologists for a year or one free psych for each university for 37 years.
  36. 9.3 million jugs of XXXX beer from the RedRoom. #euphoric #putoutyourRSAs
  37. More than 55 million kilograms of brown onions to have a chomp on.
  38. Deliver Fiber to the premises for 35,321 homes around Australia.
  39. A study on lowering the voting age to 16, and maybe even the referendum for it too.
  40. 562 thousand pairs of 8” stiletto heeled boots to show how you slay.
  41. 704 thousand Viking cloaks from Tragic Beauty to equip our national navy with the most appropriate outfit.
  42. Funding to run the Australian Human Rights Commission’s “Racism. It Stops with Me” campaign for over 260 years.
  43. 7.7 acres of beachfront property near the Whitsundays AND 1,185 acres of farmland in Cambooya Valley AND 39 acres of semi-rural land with a 5 bedroom house in Ripley AND 550 acres of housing estate land in Redbank Plains.
  44. Pay the UQ Vice-Chancellor for 99 years.
  45. Over 1,900 new teaching positions on the average wage.
  46. About 10 private islands.
  47. Sick of the single life? Get 3,698,090 of those husband pillows.
  48. Or embrace the crazy cat lady life with 114,018 and a half cats.
  49. 24,448,897 bottle of passion pop to visit those dark, bad life choices you made when you were younger.
  50. Satisfy Editor Penelope with 38,125kgs of truffles.
  51. Install typical solar panels for 17,428.5 homes around Queensland.
  52. Buy 2.3 versions of Malcolm Turnbull’s house.
  53. A really big national piss-up to celebrate moving Australia Day to May 8th, M8.
  54. Buy one hundred twenty-two thousand prize racing Pigeons.
  55. Lease the country of Lichtenstein for 8 months.
  56. Be an absolute baller with 75,041 ounces of gold.
  57. 6 million bottles of Bondi Sands fake tan for the pasty white politicians.
  58. Buy a 53% share of Grindr.
  59. Try to be that dorky old guy that goes around the city in a Segway because you can buy 20,336 at this price.
  60. Clean the Brisbane river entirely 6 times.
  61. The cost of becoming a Republic.
  62. 25 years of high-class escorts.
  63. 902,366 nesting houses for greater gliders.
  64. Planting enough trees to sequester 5030 tonnes of carbon dioxide each year.
  65. 214 years of a Prime ministers wage.
  66. Fully fund the tuition of 4560 nurses.
  67. 15% of UQ’s planned infrastructure for the next 20 years.
  68. 11,141,552 halal snack packs.
  69. Over 938,462 rainbow roller skates to have a fabulous time in.
  70. Have the same turnover as the UQU 5.5 times over.
  71. Purchase 14,118 Drones to spy on parliament house.
  72. 19,108 Canon 700Ds, talk about UQ Stalkerspace.
  73. Not ready for the Australian summer yet and want a real throwback to winter? Try 19,212 trips to Antarctica?
  74. 113,067 new iPhone 7s or Google pixels.
  75. Or do you miss the good ole days before phone smarter than you? You can still buy 2,140,726 brick phones.
  76. You could even create your own brick with 33,328 3D printers.
  77. 152,501 life-size replicas of big-foot, might symbolise how anything can happen.
  78. You can fly to NZ in Emirates business class 16,166 times to visit old mate Barnaby and Ludlam.
  79. Might be enough to check all the pollies citizenships??
  80. be the cool kid in class with 11,090909 Snake Eyes: A Nicolas Cage Activity Book.
  81. Supply morning marmalade with 328,125 days of Yoplait Yogurt.
  82. Maybe also supply Morning Marmalade with marmalade so it makes actual sense.
  83. UQ represent in 1,878,367 UQ jumpers.
  84. Be the big spender at uni with 1,220,000 one hundred dollar bills.
  85. Be so hip with 3,331,512 Kylie lip kits.
  86. Film a whole season Game of Thrones, move out of the way HBO, Australia is coming.
  87. Or be even more hip with 6,106,106 DVD copies of Everybody Loves Raymond Season 2
  88. 13,555,555 Netflix subscriptions for all those who are up with the times.
  89. Still, have Splendour FOMO? you could buy 246,464 full Splendour tickets with camping.
  90. Or you still have time to get 299,019 full Falls tickets with camping.
  91. Film the movie The Room 16 times. Overkill much?
  92. Impress your college mates with 4,066 brand new Rolex watches.
  93. Want to avoid the reality of the Marriage equality debate, buy 221,838 PS4 virtual reality consoles.
  94. Like the new Rick and Morty season? Buy 8,138,759 miniature figurines.
  95. Tired of this list? Maybe you could buy 7,178 sleeping pods.
  96. Love lounging in the Great Court? Build your own with 4,093,959 sandstone bricks.
  97. Film the video clip to Lil Dicky’s pillow talk 174 times, so worth it.
  98. Need some spice in your life? Why not buy 12,842,105 servings of tacos.
  99. Do some light reading with 4,681,504 copies of Trump: The Art of the Deal.
  100. Hire a whole team of more creative people to write a better list than this.
  101. 10 body guards and 33 years of protection for me for writing this article.

 

tl;dr – there are certainly a lot of things you could spend $122m on instead of a nonbinding survey.

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