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I
The body I call home isn’t mine. Nor was it ever,
it was destined to be deemed public property
And handled with such disregard for its being
Measured solely by its desirability details
And the displeasing flaws that draw the eye
The strangers eye is one of assessment
With it only to judge your appearance
To rate it on a scale of one to ten
of how abhorrent or attractive you are
The strangers eyes act as a spotlight
Shouldn’t you be grateful for the attention?
You’re centre stage darling! So starve yourself
You look better thin, it shows off your dimension
And pluck the hairs on your body
And obsess over your skin
Don’t let them see the stretches or scars
As it just proves that your living
Be the mannequin be the model be more
Be the perfect pageant girl
Be the wonderful working woman
And most importantly; be his fuck doll
Let them capitalise off your body
And sell you product that give you cancers
And put the creams that care for your cold corpse
Just so that chap will enjoy caressing it
II
But the body I have needs to be cleansed
I need to dump my skull in an ice bath
And shave my skin off clean
To twist my spine out like a wet towel
And slice my muscles with a scalpel
Just to release some tension and anxiety
That lives in my dirty, damp mind
And scare away the bugs that live in my eyes
I want to pluck the odd hairs from my brows
And clean the voices from my ears
And rip out my teeth to never brush again
And heal the bruises from my body
Caused by my own mistreatment
I want my vertebrae cleaned by vultures
And my cold hands to be held
I need my knuckles cracked and stretched
Like a kid to a dogs tail
I want to feel an unconditional love to heal my damaged heart
And clear out the pollution that builds a city in my lungs
And to have someone hold me in a long hug
That’s not just a tactic to try to touch me where I don’t want
III
But maybe i’m just not well adjusted
Maybe my mortal wants isn’t of mankind
Maybe that desire for love and care
Is just one of a broken mind
To let the skin heal is to turn it ugly
To let the hair grow is to become undesirable
So keep picking and plucking at imperfections
With your short sharp nails
Let yourself be sexualised at ten
Start shaving at eleven
Go on dates at twelve
And be a woman by thirteen
Let your adolescence be ruled by a man
Have sex at sixteen, even if he doesn’t love you
Give yourself to a man let him be your husband
Written by Vesper (any pronouns)
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