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Anxious. Nauseous. Terrified. Do I cancel? Nice pants and a button up. Big black combat boots. My nice underwear; the ones with dinosaurs on them, neon red and black; make my arse look phenomenal. Most realistic packer. Strap-on in the backpack. Just in case. Black eyeliner. A gold chain? No chain. A ring. Or two. Or three. Nails freshly cut short. In the car. So many roadworks. Zoned out. Panicking. What if she doesn’t like me? Dodging potholes. Windy roads. Chappell Roan blasting; the only acceptable music. Sweaty hands held up to the air vent. Greetings. Hello. Nice to see you. Tentative laughs. Flirtatious smiles. Her blonde hair a halo around her head; their honey golden coils resting gently against her throat; the perfect landing pad for my lips. Beautiful. A blanket on the ground. Cheap Pad Thai and Vegetables with Cashew sauce. Grass shivering in a wave. Ants not minding their damn business. A breeze across my skin with her perfume on the wind. Water lapping the shore; ducks cutting its mirrored face. Moths attacking a lamp and mosquitos attacking me; trying to bite the moon beams. Want to come back to mine? Fumbling fingers on buttons. Stuck zippers. Clothes on the floor. Hot breath sawing in and out in synchronicity. Harness tightened; ready to go. Lips against mine. My lips on her neck, and chest, and breast… Head hung in hands. Silicon hanging limply; against all possibility. Dinosaurs watching in disdain. I’m sorry, this has never happened before. Clothes retrieved. Hair tamed. Uber app opened. Glow casting shadows with the rumpled sheets…Would you want to see each other again?…
Written by Cass Hayward
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