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Straight out of nowhere, the UQ Co-Op Bookshop has disappeared and been replaced with allegedly over-priced ‘School Locker’. News broke on StalkerSpace last night, so Semper got on the case and churned out a Universe-style listicle to wrap up the semester.

1. Cry because Co-Op refuses to refund memberships

We called up the Co-Op customer service line, and they made it clear that your membership is for life.

2. Read UQ’s official responses

When we asked the devastatingly handsome Matt Savage from Properties and Facilities why a new bookstore came in, he told us that “I believe it was Heraclitus (c. 535 BC – 475 BC) that was known for his doctrine of change being central to the universe, as change is one of the only constants”.1 (Yes, he really said that. We wish this were a joke.)

He then followed up with advice that “Co-op membership lasts a lifetime, and that the only way that current and former Students and Staff would be ‘doomed to lose out’ would be if the Co-op ceased to operate as a business”.

1. We think this was actually Peter Høj, not Heraclitus, and the exact quote was “Creating change is central to the universe-ity”.

3. Shop at UQU Second Hand Bookstore instead

Look, nobody is saying that Co-op was an ideal business. But you have to admit that if you don’t like the way that UQU Books is run, you can actually vote out the operators.

Plus you get some money back when you’re done with the book.

4. Shop at Co-Op online

“Gone but not forgotten” they say. And the same is true of book stores. If you want to make the most of that $25 membership, you’re still able to get the members price at the Co-Op website. And, as it turns out, they even offer a price beat guarantee!

So why not get the most of that membership!

5. Borrow textbooks from the library

Yep, it’s true. Most of your textbooks are available from the library anyway. And sure, they might be in the high use section, only available for an hour, but that’s long enough to photocopy all the pages you need.

6. Download textbooks

We can’t recommend you go to one of those spooky piracy websites, but there’s no denying the internet is full of free content.

7. Stop pretending you read textbooks anyway

Let’s be honest, the Co-op was full to the brim of distinctly-non-book-like material by the end. Its official departure is really just putting it out of its misery. The only person missing out here is your shrewd money-making lecturer.

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