This story originally appeared in our fifth edition, published in May.
I’ve gotten more letters than I can count which are all basically the same. “I want to date, but I don’t want to put any effort in”. Sure they don’t phrase it like that, but that’s the gist.
Put it this way, reader, last week I had a job interview with a Fortune 500 company. I was nervous, so I smoked a cone — that way, when I rocked up they would barely be able to smell my B.O. over the weed. Even though I wore my lucky crocs, the bastards didn’t give me the job. Would you?
Gather around, students, because the Love Professor is about to blow your mind. Every day you’re in that interview, and every day you’re the smelly stoner in crocs. So let’s get pragmatic and talk about How To Make Yourself Dateable™. These tips should complement your personality and help you leave your comfort zone. They shouldn’t replace your personality. Who you are is good and worth knowing, this article is all about helping other people to realise that.
Take pride in your appearance
Like it or lump it, how you present yourself is going to change how you’re perceived — so put some effort in. You don’t have to empty your savings account, but take some time to develop a style that makes you feel good and look good. No matter who you are, learn about fashion concepts like layering and makeup. Pair a killer outfit with good grooming and a signature scent and people will take notice. When I ditched my neckbeard and cargo shorts in favour of v-necks and cologne, I started to feel better. People started complimenting me, which in turn made me grow three feet taller and my chest hair grew thick and coarse. Needless to say, my dating success more than tripled.
Get yourself out there
As a younger man, my love life was pretty dismal. I would also spend all day every day sitting in my room, doing things covered in last edition of Semper. It took me a long time to connect the dots. If you want dates, you have to get yourself out there. Dating apps are a great start, but I’ve had the most success meeting people in UQ Clubs and Societies. Don’t just hit on everyone you meet, but try to form genuine connections. Take an interest in other people. Even if you don’t find the love of your life right away, friends are just as valuable in the long haul. Which reminds me, I owe a big shoutout to everyone I’ve met in C&S, and big ups to the boys down at Runcorn 4113.
Be your best self
Who you are isn’t static. You’re going to behave differently around your tutors compared to your best friend. Look at all of your different selves and figure out which one you really want to be. The version of myself who used to make mean jokes was lonely and unhappy, so I stopped doing that and I’ve been better off since. Identity is a big and complex journey. But starting that journey is important not just for your dating life, but for your own personal growth.