ABC Announces Budget Winners And Losers, Confirms QUT Students Gigantic Losers

A screenshot from the damaging report released today.

Scott Morrison made the unexpected announcement last night that, even if he diverted all of Australia’s tax revenue to them, QUT students would still be the biggest losers to walk the planet.

“I have a lot to get to tonight, but I want to start by saying that no matter who loses money tonight, nobody will be a bigger loser than the QUT student body,” Mr Morrison told Parliament Tuesday.

There will be no recourse for QUT students except to enrol at a real university next semester. The Treasurer has recommended the University of Queensland, highlighting in particular its student newspaper, Semper Floreat.

Semper will be a relief for anyone who has had to suffer through what QUT Universe calls journalism,” Mr Morrison said.

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