Bizarre Scenes As Union Governance Director Intrudes On Singapore Summit

Reporters in Singapore covering a summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un have described the bizarre scenes that unfolded as Zachary Thomas entered a private meeting between the pair to discuss current governance initiatives in the UQ Union.

“Fellas, as nice as the whole denuclearisation idea is, I’m proud to announce that our president has an open door policy,” Director Thomas is reported to have told Mr Trump and Mr Kim.

“And if I may speak frankly, the state of International Relations really pales in comparison to our decision to institute an Academic Teams Funding Board at the most recent Union Council,” Dir Thomas said.

Mr Trump and Mr Kim called the intrusion “confusing” in a joint statement to the media, but added: “we couldn’t argue with Director Thomas when he very persuasively justified his appearance as adhering to Joske’s Law of Meetings.”

Although the mind behind the [FOCUS] campaign created a platform of bringing UQU to the world stage, some critics are saying this latest move goes too far.

“We pay close attention to Korean-American relations because we want to hear words like ‘dotard’ and ‘rocket man’ thrown around,” political pundit James Masters told The Speculator.

“Director Thomas’s latest display is just detracting from the established, proper news cycle of honing in on strange tweets from the two leaders,” he said.

But others say the move doesn’t go far enough, with UQU Opposition Leader Duncan Hart accusing Director Thomas of not doing enough for asylum seekers at the summit.

“Under a Student Action Union, we promise to only gate crash these kinds of meetings with a box of Red Flags on hand,” Cr Hart said.

“Zachary Thomas and [FOCUS] has squandered precious moments with Mr Trump and Mr Kim, which could have been spent discussing how to dismantle capitalism.

“And on a personal note, I am alarmed to hear Director Thomas did not obtain either of the leaders’ signatures for our active petitions,” he said.

At press time, Director Thomas was seeking appointments to the Independent Review of Clubs and Societies Committee from the two leaders.

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